Nobodies - Cup of Tea

by The Nobodies

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Did You Know?

'Nobodies - Cup of Tea' has been now recognised as one of the 21st Century's most poetically consistent albums, and it should come as no surprise that during the recording process the K 505 Wordatron was used throughout. In principle a Doggerel Limiter combined with a Orphean Sensitivity Amplifier, Wordatron became the standard studio lyrical enhancer during the nineties and the K 505 is its latest manifestation. Engineer Bob Drake operates it set between 4.9 and 5.7, believing that with these parameters the unit will add a nuance to a lyric rather than a vulgar or conspicuous makeover. Drake has been quoted as saying, "People always ask, "what happens if you turn it up to ten?" but to my knowledge that's never been tried, and we can only speculate as to the result."
The Wordatron (originally called the de Kuyper Nematic Locution Remodelling unit, it renamed itself in 1999), has been the cause of one legendary sacking when an engineering assistant on Oasis' 'Don't Look Back in Anger' was fired for accidentally leaving it set at -15 for the entire recording session. The mistake wasn't noticed until the record had been pressed and distributed and the calamitous result can still be heard today!


released October 12, 2009



Matt Armstrong - bass
Phil Bartai - strings
Rachel Gardner - voice, keyboards
Howard Jacobs - drums
Simon King - guitar
Robert Storey - voice, guitar

Songs composed by Storey/Gardner

Arranged by The Nobodies

Recorded at La Borde Basse
by Bob Drake

Produced by Bob Drake
and His Grace the Earl of Killorglin

comments, queries and complaints should be addressed to:



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Track Name: Pastiche

my muse is an infrequent visitor
my muse is a stern inquisitor

last time I saw her I was pissed
now I’m off her christmas card list
oh my aphrodisiac
I call her but she never gets back

my muse makes fleeting appearances
through radio interferences

she gives you anything she can
like a cigarette to a drowning man
she says “are you feeling lucky punk?”
last time I saw her she was drunk
Track Name: Art

at the avant-garde review
I was on, watched by you
with your cynical witticism
and post-modern criticism
yes they loved me, but that was then
now I know they were dirty old men
Track Name: Canteen Culture
Canteen Culture

what is it that you're doing up there in your room
do you find me too much to bear?

I went to find myself but I wasn't there

you know it's a democracy, you can vote for me
is that what you're afraid to do?
you have a choice, but I don't hear your voice, no no
you have to choose or you will lose

I read your canteen culture like the tea-leaves in a cup
a few well-aimed glances and I do the washing up

you put the blame on me
but still you stake your claim on me

you dress up in clichés and expect me to believe
in the battle for meaning there is nothing to retrieve
I have no voice in this world of choice

a beta male - designed to fail
a size fourteen - average mean

this can't be all there is, a life with your nemesis
Track Name: Crisis, What Crisis?
Crisis, What Crisis?

fuck the government
that’s not what you said
that is what you did
now my state is out of control
a three-day week and a love on the dole
wildcat strikes and rampant inflation
yes there’s a power cut
at the heart of my nation
you made me learn, learn not to care
now I know what it is that you meant
this is the winter
this is the winter of discontent
Track Name: La Défense
La Défense

in court, I deny everything, I never did it
well, I did it sometimes
but I'd been bought

you ought to understand my dismay, I never hid it
you say 'don't worry it might never happen'
but it does every day

here's one that you can't refute
if you really want to prosecute
then there's going to be some costs we have to pay

don't read everything you believe about me
you'll see, I can stand up to you
on my own two knees
Track Name: Days of Lead
Days of Lead

what does a girl have to do to get a drink round here?
what does a girl have to do?

'lighten up' she said
but these are the days of lead
you've got to think outside your head
you've got to think outside the box
these are the days of pox
these are the days

do you know who you are?
as you wait in the bar
why do we feel it's all right like this?
why does he feel he has to take the piss?
these are the days of bliss
these are the days

the audience knows what's coming next
they all got sent a text
he wanted to know what's in my head
I tried to speak and he mocked what I said
these are the days of lead
these are the days

that's what a girl has to do to get a drink round here
that's what a girl has to do
Track Name: Moos

I’ve seen grown men weep
and cry out, “we’re all sheep!”
but that’s just tittle-tattle
we’re all cattle

a herd of independent minds
electric prods on our behinds
listen to my prattle
we are cattle

I’m in love with a jersey cow
but she never seems to call me now
we met one day at the slurry pit
she said she'd had enough of my bullshit

you say this song makes no sense
but take a look at the electric fence
from silicone valley to seattle
we are cattle

it’s a losing battle, we’re all cattle
we are cattle
Track Name: Decca Hopefuls
Decca Hopefuls

it was all in black and white
until nineteen sixty-six
then we found a fountain of wisdom
and we drank
and we drank ourselves to death
Track Name: Kremlinologist

every day, and every hour
I observe the shifts of power

I'm a kremlinologist when it comes to you

is there no end to this cold war?
I still remember how it was before
my cause was yours, your dream was mine
now you've changed the party line

I'm a kremlinologist when it comes to you
there always has to be a twist when it comes to you

photographs on the podium
your politburo overcoat and hat
you had to overthrow the tsar for me
my lumpenproletariat

you've changed, perhaps you'll change again
oh my comrade, I wonder when
I decode the signals that you give
this is how I choose to live

I'm a kremlinologist when it comes to you
there always has to be a twist when it comes to you
Track Name: Man Who Died Laughing
Man Who Died Laughing

you think it's a joke
but I damn nearly choked
I'm the man who died laughing at himself

I was flat broke
laugh? I croaked
I'm the man who died laughing at himself
man dies laughing at himself

and when the laughter dies
I realise
I existed but only in your eyes
and my ridiculous demise
is no surprise
I hardly spoke
just went up in smoke
I'm the man who died laughing at himself

the sound of your heart
is like music to my ears
Track Name: Miserychords

I wake up in the night
and I remember that I’ve lost you
oh that game of poker
I wanted to see you
you should have known that it would cost you

because you’re not funny anymore
at times I think you are a jinx to me
I used to laugh and now I curse
how could I explain?
and when I ask you are a sphinx to me

and you’ll never confess
you feel more sinned against than sinning
you take the house I’ll take the car
now the joke has gone too far
and still you stand there grinning

how I want this winter over
and to think I wished for snow
it chills me to the bone
that you don’t phone
Track Name: Power

when fetishism triumphed
and the foot-binders came to power
we joined the sensible shoe brigade
I sympathised with their outlook
we tore up the rule-book
though now I will concede
that some mistakes were made
and now you’re on my lino
and now you're on my linoleum
and now you're on my flooring
with your stiletto heels
Track Name: Bower

I spied my loved one in a bower
it sounds unlikely but is true
we sat and talked for half an hour
we walked the garden through the dew
the inconvenience of love
how it always makes you blue
how we have to rise above
and how we almost never do

her cheek was cold when I kissed it
they say that love is a disease
it takes hold while you resist it
it's indifferent to your pleas
the animality of love
at your peril you deny
you couldn't make it up
why ever would you try

I called my loved one from a shower
implausible as it might appear
and I informed her of her power
my flattery it was sincere

the enormity of this
meant I had been in a daze
and something is amiss
since she held me in her gaze
Track Name: Quand Tu Liras Cette Lettre
Quand Tu Liras Cette Lettre

I got in touch with my feminine side
I wrote her a letter, she replied
I guess I always kind of knew
the worst case scenario was true

what am I?
what am I to do?
what am I to you?

I thought I'd seen it all before
but now I'm standing here looking at your door
I'm learning to live in outer space
but there's no home like your place

what am I?
what am I to do?
what am I to you?
Track Name: Going Down Gracefully
Going Down Gracefully

I fell in with his grace
he borrowed almost everything I lent
I couldn't, couldn't read his face
and yet nonetheless was drawn on by his scent
he showed me his bag
but he kept the cat in
milord spoke
but only in latin

love is our secret

and then slowly to my surprise
what began in my mind worked its way down below
watered by the tears emanating from his eyes
this insubstantial thing began to grow
gently holding
I discovered what he meant
mystery unfolding
vertiginous descent

love is our secret weapon

take my money, spend it wisely
I know you can deal with crises